She asks you if you’d like something to eat. You say you want an olive. She says you two don’t have any olives in the house because she didn’t know you liked them. You pause. You tell her you’ve always liked olives.
Does your teen seem kind of gay? Not gay in the usual way, but gay in the terrifying evil old McCarthyite lawyer way? Has your teen started speaking in something like a 1950s Jewish New York accent but with the impeccable vocal flourish of Al Pacino or Nathan Lane? Is your child as hellbent on … Continue reading Is Your Teen Kin With Roy Cohn?
About 21 hours ago, blogger Chelsea Fagan delivered the funniest tweet of all time unto us: the other day a bartender told me his high school did a performance of RENT where they couldn't say AIDS so all the characters had diabetes — Chelsea Fagan (@Chelsea_Fagan) October 6, 2017 I mean, we've all heard of … Continue reading A Conservative High School Production of Angels in America Where They Can’t Say AIDS So All the Characters Have Diabetes Instead
Scenes from Pygmalion; scenes from My Fair Lady; a lot of lines that are paraphrased; some lines that are literally copy-pasted from the works of George Bernard Shaw. PICKERING: i came from india to meet you! HIGGINS: i was going to india to meet you! PICKERING: omg! HIGGINS: i live at 27a wimpole street if … Continue reading Two Linguists Invent Eliza Doolittle
Aaron Sorkin wrote a Broadway version of To Kill a Mockingbird. You may know Aaron for his works that start with "The": The West Wing, The Newsroom, The Social Network. By contrast his works that lacked the "The" haven't taken off as much: Sports Night? Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? I guess Moneyball was a success … Continue reading Titles for Aaron Sorkin’s To Kill a Mockingbird that Start with “The”
ANDREW GARFIELD #1: bad news they just fired me from being spider man ANDREW GARFIELD #2: on what grounds though ANDREW GARFIELD #1: well you know how i've been spending every press conference saying that spider man 3 should be about peter parker discovering he's bi like just starting the year at NYU real sad that … Continue reading Two Andrew Garfields Invent Acting
If you haven’t heard, the popular awards the Tonys– that’s Theatre for Anthonys– are airing this Sunday evening. They hand out awards to people who have done theater this year: a quaint little tradition brought forth in the 1600s that we are so honored to continue today. Nominees have been announced, or so wikipedia says, … Continue reading Two Olives Predict the Winners of the 71st Tony Awards
INTERIOR - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - DAY In the centre of an orange room postered with Car Seat Headrest setlists, nestled under floral bedsheets, PEYTON is lying sound asleep. Peyton's cat, HILLARY PAWDHAM KITTEN, is curled up at their feet, purring contentedly. Suddenly, there is a flash of sound at Peyton's bedside. Peyton blinks and opens their eyes. … Continue reading Alanis Morissette Appeared to Me in a Dream and Told Me They’re Making a Musical Out of Jagged Little Pill
MAC, tired and hungover, enters The Bar to find it filled with strange old men in matching leather jackets. MAC: Hey, Dennis, who the **** are these people? He turns to the bar and finds, instead of Dennis, a STRANGE OLD MAN he's never seen before wiping it down with a rag. MAC: Whoa, shit! Who the … Continue reading The Gang Performs King Lear: An Always Sunny Crossover Fic
Ever heard of Bernadette Peters? Me too. As we know, she’s got indescribable talent and skill. But do we all know she’s immortal? Are we all on the same page there? And please, I know what you’re thinking: just because she’s more iconic than me doesn’t mean she’s immortal. Actually, yes the fuck it does. … Continue reading Bernadette Peters is Immortal and I’ll Prove It