An Open Letter to the Person Who Keeps Accessing Our Site By Googling Stuff Like “john mulaney wife armpit hair”

Dear Sir or Mad -- nah, let's be real, you're almost definitely a Sir, and a sorry excuse for one, at that, Last November, I wrote an article entitled "Let's Scroll Through John Mulaney and Annamarie Tendler's Instagrams While Listening to 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' by the Beach Boys Until We All Have Emotional Breakdowns." … Continue reading An Open Letter to the Person Who Keeps Accessing Our Site By Googling Stuff Like “john mulaney wife armpit hair”

Every Line of Motion Sickness Ranked by How Much It Makes Me Want to Give Phoebe Bridgers A Sword

Readers, hopefully we’re all in agreement that violence is bad, and that killing people with weapons is, in most circumstances, not good. However, have you heard “Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers? Like, really listened? Because if you, like me, have listened to “Motion Sickness,” many times, on repeat, in a car, or lying in bed, while … Continue reading Every Line of Motion Sickness Ranked by How Much It Makes Me Want to Give Phoebe Bridgers A Sword

The Ten Best Things We Read in January 2019

What It Felt Like When 'Cat Person' Went Viral, by Kristen Roupenian for the New Yorker Like just about everyone who digested Kristen Roupenian's 'Cat Person' two falls ago, I had an immediate and visceral reaction to it. Mine was, "Seriously? This is what everyone's raving about? That's the 'shocking twist' everyone's talking up? If this is what passes for … Continue reading The Ten Best Things We Read in January 2019

20 Men Whose Bad Hairlines You Haven’t Noticed Due To What I Suspect Is A Multi-Level Government Conspiracy 

Reader, I come to you now from inside a dark and damp cave. For years I’ve bided my time, collected my data, risked my neck… All while you have been out galavanting in the world, getting gay married with a legal weed wedding registry and inventing new yoga moves in what I assume you now … Continue reading 20 Men Whose Bad Hairlines You Haven’t Noticed Due To What I Suspect Is A Multi-Level Government Conspiracy