I Regret to Report That the Llamas With Hats Are The Dynamic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJOwdrTA8Gw It's true, but we shouldn't say it, but we're saying it anyway: the late 2000s randomcore masterpiece Llamas With Hats may be the most potent distillation of The Dynamic in existence. Carl is the most absolute of absolute nightmares; Paul exudes sweaterboy energy without ever even donning a sweater. If you don't believe me, … Continue reading I Regret to Report That the Llamas With Hats Are The Dynamic

A Bunch of Old Timey Socks That Make Me Glad to Be A Lesbian Because It Means I Can Wear Whatever I Want

The sheer amount that's happening visually here has me convinced that these socks could have only belonged to a lesbian. Same goes for these. Why even wear shoes when you have on these sexy boys? Perfect for the tabi boots I'll never be able to afford with my fine arts degree. Who needs a locket … Continue reading A Bunch of Old Timey Socks That Make Me Glad to Be A Lesbian Because It Means I Can Wear Whatever I Want

Nine Healthy Coping Mechanisms to Get You Through This Hell Month

Hey, Nichers! Can you believe we're more than halfway through the year? Neither can I! Here's how I'm coping with summertime malaise, and you can, too! Joining A Yoga Studio Like Some Rich-Ass Soccer Mom So I have this thing where I, like, never exercise. Like, never, ever, ever. I was momentarily kind of a … Continue reading Nine Healthy Coping Mechanisms to Get You Through This Hell Month

Hey Pee Head: A Niche Interview With The Two Fifteen-Year-Olds Behind The Max2019 Alternate Reality Game

Earlier this month, a strange phenomenon began to spread across Tumblr: users were receiving messages from what appeared to be a run-of-the-mill pornbot with the username “sexygirlmax2019.” Curious bloggers quickly discovered, however, that the messages—all variations of “Hey pee head - can you teleport?”—were part of an immersive storytelling experience: an alternate reality game, or … Continue reading Hey Pee Head: A Niche Interview With The Two Fifteen-Year-Olds Behind The Max2019 Alternate Reality Game

Which Mad Men Characters Would Be Into Pegging? Spoiler Alert: Probably Not Pete

Full disclosure: I only just finished the first season, so I'm just ranking the main characters at that point in the series. It's entirely possible that I'm missing later context which would better inform my understanding of these characters' potential predilection for pegging. BETTY DRAPER: DEFINITELY NOT INTO IT "So, Betty," says a heavily pregnant … Continue reading Which Mad Men Characters Would Be Into Pegging? Spoiler Alert: Probably Not Pete

Singer-Songwriter Eye for the Sad Girl: A Netflix Original

It's been fifteen years since the Emmy Award-winning series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy revolutionized reality television. And it's been three months since we here at Netflix re-revolutionized reality television by rebooting Queer Eye and bringing you a bunch of thinkpieces about the semiotic ramifications of Antoni's bulge. Today, Netflix is pleased to introduce a new spin-off series: Singer-Songwriter Eye for … Continue reading Singer-Songwriter Eye for the Sad Girl: A Netflix Original

“Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by The Beach Boys, but With Single-Syllable Adjectives Other Than “Nice”

Wouldn't It Be Bad Wouldn't It Be Big Wouldn't It Be Brave Wouldn't It Be Chill Wouldn't It Be Choice Wouldn't It Be Clutch Wouldn't It Be Cool Wouldn't It Be Dark Wouldn't It Be Drab Wouldn't It Be Dope Wouldn't It Be Droll Wouldn't It Be Dumb Wouldn't It Be Fresh Wouldn't It Be … Continue reading “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by The Beach Boys, but With Single-Syllable Adjectives Other Than “Nice”