Every “The National” Album, Ranked by How Much Matt Berninger Sounds Like a Bottom In It

While I don't pretend to be an expert on bottom culture, Ohio rock band The National's Matt Berninger certainly is. Encompassing lyrics from, "we'll be their pets, we'll wear their collars" to "I was born to beg for you," here's a comprehensive ranking of The National's current musical offerings, from least-bottomy to most. 8. The … Continue reading Every “The National” Album, Ranked by How Much Matt Berninger Sounds Like a Bottom In It

Please Watch the Andrew Scott Hamlet Before the BBC Takes It Off Their Website

Hello Niche Readers! We, and by we I mean I, Seph, would like to take a break from our usual programming to inform you that until April 30th you can watch the BBC broadcast of the recent Almeida Theatre production of Hamlet, directed by Robert Icke and starring Andrew Scott. It's good. You should watch … Continue reading Please Watch the Andrew Scott Hamlet Before the BBC Takes It Off Their Website

Mark Zuckerberg Testifies Before Congress: A Niche Transcript

MARK ZUCKERBERG: Chairman Walden, Ranking Member Pallone, and Members of the Committee. We face a number of important issues around privacy, safety, and democracy, and you will rightfully have some hard questions for me to answer. I realize the issues we’re talking about today aren’t just issues for Facebook and our community — they’re challenges for … Continue reading Mark Zuckerberg Testifies Before Congress: A Niche Transcript

Sixteen Songs That Will Trigger Your Fight Or Flight Response When You Hear Them In Public, Provided You’ve Read Homestuck

16. Cooler Than Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtZf3-OmGVA The opening notes of this song are capable of instantly tipping me into a sort of conscious fever dream where I’m being pursued by hoards of Ikimaru Davekat drawings with a thirst for blood. 15. Nilili Mambo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L_gOBfGl2A I’m going to be totally real: you will never hear Nilili Mambo … Continue reading Sixteen Songs That Will Trigger Your Fight Or Flight Response When You Hear Them In Public, Provided You’ve Read Homestuck

Phantom Thread (2017 dir. Paul Thomas Anderson) is a Rom-Com: A Scientific Proof

Last night, months after the rest of you gays, I finally watched Phantom Thread and let me tell you it had everything I was promised; painful levels of repression, sub-textual pegging realized via poison, Daniel Day-Lewis's sexy fucked up thumbs, Vicky Krieps being iconic in every single shot. I'm in love. It was also definitely … Continue reading Phantom Thread (2017 dir. Paul Thomas Anderson) is a Rom-Com: A Scientific Proof

Ode to Emmy Hartman, The Girl Who Filmed Her Own Emotional Breakdown Over A Traffic Ticket

First off: if you haven't watched the video already, I'll ask you to join the 5.12 million who have done so before you read any further. https://twitter.com/tourdetruce/status/923543590650990594 So I saw Lorde last night, playing a sold-out show for 20,000 people. I had nosebleeds -- or, rather, one singular nosebleed, adjacent to a very sweet, soft-spoken … Continue reading Ode to Emmy Hartman, The Girl Who Filmed Her Own Emotional Breakdown Over A Traffic Ticket