so you know how we– yes… attic room. two olives. it has to be incoherent. oh yeah definitely, it cant make logical sense.
We Wrote “Robert Pope Leonard” on Seven Different Cakes. What Happened Next Will Warm Your Heart.
Here are seven different cakes with the words "Robert Pope Leonard" written on them, ranked from most to least cosmically powerful. 7. Harry went to the trouble of buying a cake, purchasing icing, obtaining piping tools, and writing ROBERT POPE LEONARD by hand in hot pink on this cake, but then couldn't be fucked to … Continue reading We Wrote “Robert Pope Leonard” on Seven Different Cakes. What Happened Next Will Warm Your Heart.
The Top Ten Most Iconic Lesbian TV Couples of All Time, and Keep In Mind We’re Working With a Pretty Loose Definition of “Iconic”
If you've been following The Niche for any amount of time, you know that the only thing we love more than lesbianism is list-making. I'm here today to join these two areas with a definitive ranking of the greatest and most iconic lesbian TV couples of all time. Now, I'm going to lay a couple of … Continue reading The Top Ten Most Iconic Lesbian TV Couples of All Time, and Keep In Mind We’re Working With a Pretty Loose Definition of “Iconic”
Bernadette Peters is Immortal and I’ll Prove It
Ever heard of Bernadette Peters? Me too. As we know, she’s got indescribable talent and skill. But do we all know she’s immortal? Are we all on the same page there? And please, I know what you’re thinking: just because she’s more iconic than me doesn’t mean she’s immortal. Actually, yes the fuck it does. … Continue reading Bernadette Peters is Immortal and I’ll Prove It
When Are They Going to Make A Fucking Kavalier & Clay Movie, God Fucking Dammit, It’s Been Twenty Fucking Years
So all the way back in the year 2000 - that's right, the turn of the fucking century, the dawn of the new millennium - notable great dad Michael Chabon dropped God's gift to American literature on us with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay. It is a magnum opus. It is the Great American Novel. … Continue reading When Are They Going to Make A Fucking Kavalier & Clay Movie, God Fucking Dammit, It’s Been Twenty Fucking Years
Five Clickbait Articles I Never Wrote and Their Punchlines Revealed
Every clickbait article I've written and that I haven't written and that anyone has ever written has one conceit that the writer relies on for the entirety of the article. Usually, that punchline can be summed up in a few sentences. This article does exactly that. 1. Every Year the Shamrock Shake Grows Greener and I … Continue reading Five Clickbait Articles I Never Wrote and Their Punchlines Revealed
Six Homoerotic Promotional Photos for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia That Are More Satisfying Than All the Sex I’ve Ever Had
About a month ago, right around the time that I, along with all the other editors of The Niche, abruptly and for no particular reason gave up on The Niche, I got into the FXX sitcom It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And if you know me, you know this: when I stan, I stan. I didn't write … Continue reading Six Homoerotic Promotional Photos for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia That Are More Satisfying Than All the Sex I’ve Ever Had
What We’re Reading at 1AM
Technically, we've missed 211th anniversary of the creation of Sherlock Holmes by an hour. But you should head over here and (re)read A Study in Scarlet anyway. *** As if the title of this Harper's longread "Blood Spore: Of Murder and Mushrooms" alone weren't enough to draw anyone in, get a load of this imagery: Pollock’s body was presented … Continue reading What We’re Reading at 1AM
Childhood Cartoons I Only Remember In Terms of the Intensely Vivid Feelings I Associate With Them
I don't know much but I do know these cartoons don't exist beyond the deeply vivid and psychologically troubling impressions that they can evoke at the mere mention of their name. Yes ,there are the good childhood shows like The Powerpuff Girls and Scooby Doo. Then there are these ones. The ones I couldn't tell you the … Continue reading Childhood Cartoons I Only Remember In Terms of the Intensely Vivid Feelings I Associate With Them
Women You Didn’t Know Were Niche
It's International Women's Day here at the Niche, and also everywhere else around the entire world. This may come as a surprise, but women are all-around nicher than you've been led to believe. Society is scamming you out of understanding that women do things like guard lighthouses, or lead revolts against the Han dynasty in … Continue reading Women You Didn’t Know Were Niche
