The subterranean dungeon of Taylor Swift's Rhode Island mansion is painted a folksy, endearing robin's-egg blue, a delicate contrast to the exposed copper piping which runs the length of the cavernous room, and to which I am presently shackled. As forced captivities go, this has been an eminently pleasant one. And it was my fault, … Continue reading An Exclusive Interview with Taylor Swift While Shackled to A Copper Pipe In Her Basement
Yesterday, in what still feels like a targeted effort by scientists in a government laboratory to make me, personally, weep myself into blindness, Warner Brothers released the second trailer for The Goldfinch. If you're not familiar, I'll catch you up in just a second -- but have a look, first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAfCD9MVq_c Yes, as if it wasn't enough … Continue reading What Does “Queerbait” Even Mean Anymore?
Well, it happened again. Last night I went on a Wikipedia deep dive learning about the 20th century ballet revolution in Russia. Specifically, my rabbit hole concerned the artistic and sexual life of iconic male ballet dancer Vaslav Nijinsky. As far as I can tell, if you know anything about ballet, odds are good you … Continue reading Oh No, Edward Albee Wrote a Screenplay About a Bisexual Ballet Love Triangle
MAY 19, 1999. The curtain rises on a bar that could charitably be described as "humble." Paint peels along the walls. The counter-tops are sticky with beers of yesteryear. Stuffing leaks from six bar-stools, and six occupants in their early thirties slouch on them: MIKE, DUSTIN, LUCAS, MAX, WILL, and ELEVEN, called EL. They are … Continue reading The Stranger Things Kids Turn 30 and Go See “The Phantom Menace” on Opening Night: A One-Act Play
It's often said that the first Pride was a riot. And that's true, insofar as modern Pride commemorates the uprising at Stonewall and the throwing, en masse, of bricks at cops. But perhaps more importantly, the first Pride was a fun, casual night on the town that went up in flames because straight people didn't … Continue reading The Top Ten Worst Things About the Worst Pride Month Ever
Some weeks ago, Esquire published Lili Anolik's long-form exploration of the famous -- and famously debauched -- Bennington College Class of 1986. After rabid consumption of the article, multiple times, over a period of 48 hours, I have compiled this list of the quotes from the which most inspire the physical ache of not being … Continue reading Anyone Else Physically Aching to Swap Bodies with Donna Tartt After Reading That Esquire Article About Bennington College in the Eighties? Anyone? No? Just Me?
As you may have gleaned from the title of this article, I am not a classicist. One time, in college, I signed up for an Intro to Latin class, but I dropped out three weeks into the course after pulling an all nighter in Robarts making vocab flash cards right before our first quiz and … Continue reading Virgil Had A Pussy and I’ll Prove It
The original script of Heathers saw the entirety of Westerberg High dead. Daniel Waters’s original screenplay closed on a soot-and-blood covered Veronica Sawyer standing on the front steps of her high school with a bomb strapped to her chest - the very bomb that JD, her murderous ex-boyfriend, had planned to use to blow up … Continue reading How “Heathers” Taught Me To Say No
In the near present you, dear Nichers, will likely be seeing a lot about the BBC/Amazon mini-series of Good Omens. You probably already have—it's actually a little scary how many non-internet people I know who've asked me if I've heard about "this new show" like I don't have every page of the novel inscribed in … Continue reading These Man-Shaped Beings Are Gay and There’s Nothing Neil Gaiman Can Do About It (A Good Omens Primer)
Illustration by Fiona Ostby. This debate contains spoilers for “Cat Person,” as well as discussion of rape and sexual abuse, which may be triggering to some readers. The interview has been edited and condensed for clarity, and to get rid of all our little verbal tics, because we uh, um, like, I think, used a … Continue reading Did “Cat Person” Deserve the Hype?