Dear Sir or Mad -- nah, let's be real, you're almost definitely a Sir, and a sorry excuse for one, at that, Last November, I wrote an article entitled "Let's Scroll Through John Mulaney and Annamarie Tendler's Instagrams While Listening to 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' by the Beach Boys Until We All Have Emotional Breakdowns." … Continue reading An Open Letter to the Person Who Keeps Accessing Our Site By Googling Stuff Like “john mulaney wife armpit hair”
Readers, hopefully we’re all in agreement that violence is bad, and that killing people with weapons is, in most circumstances, not good. However, have you heard “Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers? Like, really listened? Because if you, like me, have listened to “Motion Sickness,” many times, on repeat, in a car, or lying in bed, while … Continue reading Every Line of Motion Sickness Ranked by How Much It Makes Me Want to Give Phoebe Bridgers A Sword
i really want to get into freelance journalism, but i don’t even know where to start. i know that’s probably still really broad, but i just love writing so much and i have no fuckin clue what i can DO about it besides feel like i’m too paralyzed to start.... I'm glad you're asking this … Continue reading A Freelance FAQ for New and Niche Writers
What It Felt Like When 'Cat Person' Went Viral, by Kristen Roupenian for the New Yorker Like just about everyone who digested Kristen Roupenian's 'Cat Person' two falls ago, I had an immediate and visceral reaction to it. Mine was, "Seriously? This is what everyone's raving about? That's the 'shocking twist' everyone's talking up? If this is what passes for … Continue reading The Ten Best Things We Read in January 2019
“Many things in the world have not been named,” writes Susan Sontag, in the opening of her Notes on ‘Camp,’ “and many things, even if they have been named, have never been described.” It is for this very reason that I hesitate to write these notes. In recent years, it seems, to describe a path … Continue reading Notes on “Feral”
Reader, I come to you now from inside a dark and damp cave. For years I’ve bided my time, collected my data, risked my neck… All while you have been out galavanting in the world, getting gay married with a legal weed wedding registry and inventing new yoga moves in what I assume you now … Continue reading 20 Men Whose Bad Hairlines You Haven’t Noticed Due To What I Suspect Is A Multi-Level Government Conspiracy
I walk into a bookstore downtown at 4:30 in the afternoon. I graduated from university four years ago, but I still have a stressed-out aura about me. PENN BADGLEY'S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: Well, hello there. Who are you? Based on your vibe, a student. A saucy little co-ed. Nice. I am wearing the sweatshirt that was … Continue reading Penn Badgley From “You” Follows Me Around For A Day
It's been 14 years almost to the day since Ang Lee smiled down on the earth and said "let there be homos on the range". And what do we have to show for it? Absolutely nothing. Frankly I'm embarrassed, and I knew if I continued living like this I wouldn't even be able to look … Continue reading For Sale: My Pitch for Another Movie About Gay Cowboys
@Aeneas - 3:11 PM Some personal news: I'll be heading off to Italy next week at the behest of Apollo! Super nervous, and totally gonna miss everyone here in Carthage, but so excited about this next chapter. Shoot me a text & let's grab brunch before I go. @QueenDido - 3:16 PM lmao @Aeneas - … Continue reading The Aeneid, As Told in Subtweets
The first red flag was printed on the label, three words, tucked small in the bottom right: frozen dairy dessert. I was standing in the ice cream aisle at Loblaw's, and I saw those three words, and I thought, "Huh, that must mean Halo Top doesn't meet the Canadian Food Inspection Agency's legal definition of 'ice … Continue reading Halo Top is a Scam
