So I think it may help us some to start off by defining what, precisely, constitutes a Depression Meal. To that end, the Depression Meal Tumblr offers us some suggestions: Half a granola bar your friend forced you to eat and some salt Nachos with kraft dinner on them A waffle that had been sitting … Continue reading Step Up Your Depression Meal Game with Marcella Hazan Tomato Sauce
Last night, months after the rest of you gays, I finally watched Phantom Thread and let me tell you it had everything I was promised; painful levels of repression, sub-textual pegging realized via poison, Daniel Day-Lewis's sexy fucked up thumbs, Vicky Krieps being iconic in every single shot. I'm in love. It was also definitely … Continue reading Phantom Thread (2017 dir. Paul Thomas Anderson) is a Rom-Com: A Scientific Proof
From açaí to charcoal, quinoa to kale, we've all watched innumerable superfoods come and go. With the new year fast approaching, it's time to peer into the crystal ball, consult the cards, and pull something out of our collective ass to meet our court-ordered listicle quota. And so, we bring you the next five superfoods of … Continue reading Predicting the Superfood Trends of 2018
Here are seven different cakes with the words "Robert Pope Leonard" written on them, ranked from most to least cosmically powerful. 7. Harry went to the trouble of buying a cake, purchasing icing, obtaining piping tools, and writing ROBERT POPE LEONARD by hand in hot pink on this cake, but then couldn't be fucked to … Continue reading We Wrote “Robert Pope Leonard” on Seven Different Cakes. What Happened Next Will Warm Your Heart.
Every clickbait article I've written and that I haven't written and that anyone has ever written has one conceit that the writer relies on for the entirety of the article. Usually, that punchline can be summed up in a few sentences. This article does exactly that. 1. Every Year the Shamrock Shake Grows Greener and I … Continue reading Five Clickbait Articles I Never Wrote and Their Punchlines Revealed
Despite the radio silence, we've actually been reading tonight! A few meaty pieces for your evening, plus one worthwhile video: On the long history of a San Antonio subculture: Over time, the gowns have become symbols of the dream of wealth and exclusivity. “It’s like a grown-up fairytale,” explained Ellen Maverick Dickson, a former princess … Continue reading What We’re Reading at 1AM
Education is a lifelong process, and daily learning the sole defense against the mental degeneration which lurks around every bend. So when you learn that fresh blood can act as a suitable egg substitute…well, you really have to lean into that information. *** Personally, I’ve never eaten straight-up blood. My culinary habits lean toward the adventurous … Continue reading 3 Classic Egg Recipes Except with Blood Now
Of all life’s myriad irritants, few have the power to vex, to stymie, to dampen the passions of the soul like a monotonous diet. When rice and turkey burgers no longer satisfy, when Vienna Fingers become passé, one must take up arms against routine and shake new fruits from the tree of life. "But how … Continue reading Niche Recipe: Broccoli à la Vapeur