First off: if you haven't watched the video already, I'll ask you to join the 5.12 million who have done so before you read any further. https://twitter.com/tourdetruce/status/923543590650990594 So I saw Lorde last night, playing a sold-out show for 20,000 people. I had nosebleeds -- or, rather, one singular nosebleed, adjacent to a very sweet, soft-spoken … Continue reading Ode to Emmy Hartman, The Girl Who Filmed Her Own Emotional Breakdown Over A Traffic Ticket
You guys know that one Death Grips song, I've Seen Footage? The banger to end all bangers? You know how in the intro it really sounds like MC Ride is saying "I stay niche," but it's kind of difficult to make it out, and you're like, "Okay, he can't actually be saying 'I stay niche,' there's no … Continue reading I Thought I Was Hearing Him Wrong But It Turns Out MC Ride Really is Saying “I Stay Niche” in That One Death Grips Song
Pack it in, folks— this is the Ultimate Niche Post. We've had a good run, but it's over now.
To borrow a phrase from our greatest inspiration, the internet is a rich tapestry. If you're like me, you were raised on the internet, and you've been stumbling into strange, shadowy corners of the web since you were old enough to talk. Sometimes, Weird Internet is great. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve whole … Continue reading A Niche Interview with the Author of the Zootopia Abortion Comic
Okay, so to dispel any misgivings brought on by that headline, I am not pregnant, nor do I have active plans to have a kid any time soon. Like, probably not for another ten years or so. But I am the kind of person who needs to over-prepare for everything. I show up at the … Continue reading Twelve Horrifically Pretentious Baby Names I Am Considering and My Rationale for Each One
THE FULL SCREENPLAY About two hours into a very long car ride to see Tegan and Sara in Portland, Maine, and one hour into the High School Musical 3 soundtrack, I turn to my friend Sam and say, "You know, when you think about it, Troy's struggle in the first movie is really emblematic of … Continue reading HTB (Helen “Troy” Bolton), or High School Lesbian Musical
She asks you if you’d like something to eat. You say you want an olive. She says you two don’t have any olives in the house because she didn’t know you liked them. You pause. You tell her you’ve always liked olives.
Scenes from Pygmalion; scenes from My Fair Lady; a lot of lines that are paraphrased; some lines that are literally copy-pasted from the works of George Bernard Shaw. PICKERING: i came from india to meet you! HIGGINS: i was going to india to meet you! PICKERING: omg! HIGGINS: i live at 27a wimpole street if … Continue reading Two Linguists Invent Eliza Doolittle
Culture writer Ira Madison III, also known as @ira on Twitter, has become famous for a simple catchphrase: keep it. It's ruthless, efficient, lethal. If Ira ever looked at something I made and told me to keep it, I believe that my bones would disintegrate into ash. Keep it is a lifestyle. Keep it is a fundamental right and an earned … Continue reading A Comprehensive List of All 160 Things Ira Madison III Has Said “Keep It” About
From: Peyton <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: Funko Pop! Prototype Development <email@example.com> Subject: Niche Funko Pop Line Suggestions - FINAL Hi Sandra, Hope this note finds you well! My apologies for taking so long to get back to you - it's been a WILD month here at the Niche. We just last week had the chance to sit down with all … Continue reading Some Suggestions for the First-Ever Niche Funko Pop Line