Five Clickbait Articles I Never Wrote and Their Punchlines Revealed

Every clickbait article I've written and that I haven't written and that anyone has ever written has one conceit that the writer relies on for the entirety of the article. Usually, that punchline can be summed up in a few sentences. This article does exactly that. 1. Every Year the Shamrock Shake Grows Greener and I … Continue reading Five Clickbait Articles I Never Wrote and Their Punchlines Revealed

Childhood Cartoons I Only Remember In Terms of the Intensely Vivid Feelings I Associate With Them

I don't know much but I do know these cartoons don't exist beyond the deeply vivid and psychologically troubling impressions that they can evoke at the mere mention of their name. Yes ,there are the good childhood shows like The Powerpuff Girls and Scooby Doo. Then there are these ones. The ones I couldn't tell you the … Continue reading Childhood Cartoons I Only Remember In Terms of the Intensely Vivid Feelings I Associate With Them

3 Classic Egg Recipes Except with Blood Now

Education is a lifelong process, and daily learning the sole defense against the mental degeneration which lurks around every bend. So when you learn that fresh blood can act as a suitable egg substitute…well, you really have to lean into that information. *** Personally, I’ve never eaten straight-up blood. My culinary habits lean toward the adventurous … Continue reading 3 Classic Egg Recipes Except with Blood Now

The Poky Little Puppy: Authoritarian Propaganda

The children’s literary canon is littered with propaganda. Drawn in by bright colors and insipid talking animals, children have little awareness that their ideologies are being manipulated, ensuring their futures as compliant citizens of the State. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the 1942 so-called classic, "The Poky Little Puppy." Although on its face … Continue reading The Poky Little Puppy: Authoritarian Propaganda

Seven Pictures of Judith Butler Ranked By How Inadequate They Make Me Feel

Judith Butler may be best-known for her post-structuralist theories of gender and her ongoing beef with the Vatican, but that's not why we're here today. Today, like so many days, is about unpacking my feelings of intellectual inadequacy through various proxies. So let's dive right in. 7.) Almost no inadequacy triggered here. Judith looks open and approachable, as … Continue reading Seven Pictures of Judith Butler Ranked By How Inadequate They Make Me Feel