The Niche Nine: Our Favourite Albums of July 2017

You know, I was looking forward to July. I'd been looking forward to July for months and months, because I knew that July meant new Arcade Fire. I had high hopes. High, high hopes. Reflektor may have been uneven and bloated, but Funeral and Neon Bible and The Suburbs all remain peerless classics. So I was like, okay. So they went a little … Continue reading The Niche Nine: Our Favourite Albums of July 2017

It’s Not Actually the First Day of Your Life and Conor “Bright Eyes” Oberst is a Fraud and a Charlatan

I have an axe to grind today, and in the interest of accessibility, I feel a responsibility to familiarize you with that axe right up front. The weapon and/or forestry implement in question? Right here, buddy: Have a listen. Or don't! It's my belief that this song is profoundly dangerous. Not because it's unpleasant. Au contraire, … Continue reading It’s Not Actually the First Day of Your Life and Conor “Bright Eyes” Oberst is a Fraud and a Charlatan

Y’all Mind if I Drink A Whole Thing of Raspberry Lemonade Vodka and Yell About Twin Fantasy?

Dear reader, a couple nights ago I got hungry at one o'clock in the morning and went out to the convenience store up the street for some taquitos. And while I was there, in the convenience store on that fateful evening - night, early morning? - I noticed that they were having a sale on … Continue reading Y’all Mind if I Drink A Whole Thing of Raspberry Lemonade Vodka and Yell About Twin Fantasy?

Alanis Morissette Appeared to Me in a Dream and Told Me They’re Making a Musical Out of Jagged Little Pill

INTERIOR - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - DAY In the centre of an orange room postered with Car Seat Headrest setlists, nestled under floral bedsheets, PEYTON is lying sound asleep. Peyton's cat, HILLARY PAWDHAM KITTEN, is curled up at their feet, purring contentedly. Suddenly, there is a flash of sound at Peyton's bedside. Peyton blinks and opens their eyes. … Continue reading Alanis Morissette Appeared to Me in a Dream and Told Me They’re Making a Musical Out of Jagged Little Pill

Scenes From Richard Siken’s Crush I Would Like to Adapt into Solange Music Videos

I think if Solange returned my calls and heard what I had to say, she would agree that the following scenes from Richard Siken's Crush are uniquely suited to her artistic voice. In fact, we could EGOT together if she allowed me to direct her next music video based on any of the following fragments. Please … Continue reading Scenes From Richard Siken’s Crush I Would Like to Adapt into Solange Music Videos

Collected For Your Convenience: Songs About Gertrude Stein

There is currently a void in your life. There is something missing, something that should be there but isn't.You're not quite sure what it is. It is a playlist composed entirely of songs about American modernist writer Gertrude Stein. With content ranging from hypothetical lesbian bars to imagined hangouts with Gertrude herself to to a … Continue reading Collected For Your Convenience: Songs About Gertrude Stein

Things Frankenstein’s Monster Says in Frankenstein That I Believe Will Appear on The Mountain Goats’ Upcoming Album ‘Goths’

The Mountain Goats have announced the release of their new album on May 19. It will be called Goths and it will feature songs called ‘Wear Black,’ ‘Abandoned Flesh,’ and ‘Grave Dust.’ Here are some lyrics that I am predicting are on the album, assuming that it consists entirely of quotes from the monster in Mary … Continue reading Things Frankenstein’s Monster Says in Frankenstein That I Believe Will Appear on The Mountain Goats’ Upcoming Album ‘Goths’