Illustration by Fiona Ostby. This debate contains spoilers for “Cat Person,” as well as discussion of rape and sexual abuse, which may be triggering to some readers. The interview has been edited and condensed for clarity, and to get rid of all our little verbal tics, because we uh, um, like, I think, used a … Continue reading Did “Cat Person” Deserve the Hype?
This past week, I finished reading Meaghan O'Connell's excellent book And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready. Among the many revelations in this book: caring for a newborn, it turns out, is extremely difficult! For the first month of their life, a newborn needs to eat every two hours, which means that … Continue reading Help Your Neighbours with Their Newborn, You Loser
Dear Sir or Mad -- nah, let's be real, you're almost definitely a Sir, and a sorry excuse for one, at that, Last November, I wrote an article entitled "Let's Scroll Through John Mulaney and Annamarie Tendler's Instagrams While Listening to 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' by the Beach Boys Until We All Have Emotional Breakdowns." … Continue reading An Open Letter to the Person Who Keeps Accessing Our Site By Googling Stuff Like “john mulaney wife armpit hair”
Readers, hopefully we’re all in agreement that violence is bad, and that killing people with weapons is, in most circumstances, not good. However, have you heard “Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers? Like, really listened? Because if you, like me, have listened to “Motion Sickness,” many times, on repeat, in a car, or lying in bed, while … Continue reading Every Line of Motion Sickness Ranked by How Much It Makes Me Want to Give Phoebe Bridgers A Sword
Elizabeth Holmes is not a good person. Like, historically not good. Like, stole $9 billion and played Russian roulette with millions of innocent lives levels of not good. Last month, a federal grand jury indicted her on nine counts of wire fraud; in March, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission sued her and formally banned her … Continue reading I Love Elizabeth Holmes, Scam Queen
Have you heard? Lucasfilm just hired David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, the creators of Game of Thrones, to direct their very own Star Wars trilogy. I don't know about you guys, but I think this is a great move for the franchise. We're living in a new age of feminist progress: predators are being exiled, grassroots campaigns like #MeToo are … Continue reading Ten Strong Female Star Wars Characters We’re Stoked to Watch Being Violently Assaulted
In 2012 - or some year similar to that - Mitt Romney approached me, shook my hand with moderate firmness, and asked me why I was standing in his driveway. He did not question the Jedi robes I was wearing at the time, nor did he flinch when my lightsaber went off later on in … Continue reading How I Stole Mitt Romney’s Jacket, and You Can Too
Given the existing script of House MD, this didn't even take much. Self-explanatory. Lisa: House, I never approved this transplant House: [flipping the bird] approve this Cameron: Lung scans got back. Looks like they found–– House: [lighting a cigarette] Répétez? Chase: Our only choice is to amputate the foot, I’m very sorry Patient: [light angry sobbing] House: … Continue reading Dirtbag Greg House