For brevity’s sake, and so I don’t have to look at 24 ties at once, I’ve capped it at 10.

…

10.  I see what you were trying to do with the pop of color, really, I understand, I do… but have you considered that you might look too regal for hospital life? Just a bit? This tie deserves a three-star restaurant, or a courtroom at the very least.

9. I can’t help that you’re an oncologist and not a candy striper! I’m sorry! But dress for the job you want I guess, I’ll let it slide

8. I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

7. This Hester Prynne Allusion… going for an A, but I give it a C- at best. Red isn’t your color, and you need to coordinate shades better. I can’t look at this anymore

6. It’s like you applied geometry to a root beer float. This should be illegal.

5. I don’t like that I can’t tell what color this is. You walk around in public like that?

4. Livid.

3. What Did I Just Tell You About Red, James? I’m… irritated.

2. This one only gets me because he looks like he’s enjoying it. It’s vaguely reminiscent of 1990s Microsoft culture and it makes me sick.

1. I’m calling the police.