Like any self-respecting 21st century American woman, my life’s most formative years were spent marathoning What Not to Wear on weekend mornings. For so long, I dreamed Stacy London would show up at my door and offer me $5,000 to spend a week with her in New York. As WNtW faded from my worldview, so … Continue reading Where Are They Now: Turn-of-the-Century Cable Network Queens Edition
You know, it's been a great while since a 1 A.M. mood of mine actually arose at 1 A.M. Today, though, the stars have flung themselves out of alignment to project chaos and je ne sais quoi into my life. Here's how that chaos has manifested itself tonight: Just a list of every "Going to … Continue reading What We’re Reading at 1 A.M.
When I heard Россия-1 was adapting House MD, my primary question was simple: why? Who watched House– colloquially known as Hate Crimes MD– and decided that more people needed to experience it? Using my extremely limited knowledge of Russian and world-renowned video website “youtube,” I decided to get all the answers for myself. I left the only … Continue reading With Regards to “Доктор Рихтер,” Russia’s Direct Remake of “House MD”
You’ve all heard of the Turing Test– the test of a machine’s ability to imitate human behavior. A machine that passes the test can generate responses indistinguishable from those of a human. Here I present to you a similar concept with a slightly different execution: the Margery Kempe Test. This short little quiz will analyze … Continue reading Are You Qualified for Sainthood?: The Margery Kempe Test
"It has been my privilege to see the very best of England over the years, sir, within these very walls." ––Stevens We all know The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro as a poignant narrative about a butler's grief and identity crisis in post-WWII Britain. But for what it's worth, the theme of talking about your … Continue reading The Remains of the Day and Gay English Butler Vibes
In the entire history of fiction, there have been exactly two characters named Maurice. This is a flagrantly untrue statement, but I had to open this little ditty somehow. If you’ve seen both Maurice (1987) or Madagascar (2005)– I’ve seen one of the two; guess which– you’ll know that there is no difference between their … Continue reading Quiz: Which Cinematic Maurice is this Quote Directed At?
For all the talents Jane Fonda has mastered, Pants On The Runway is my personal favorite. She really seems to bring an unmatched degree of elegance to the red carpet pants game. I think I’m biased towards her, but that doesn’t make my subjective personal opinions any less reasonable or factual. She looks good. Now, … Continue reading Six of Jane Fonda’s Glamour Pants Looks and the Respective Personas They Reflect
If you haven’t heard, the popular awards the Tonys– that’s Theatre for Anthonys– are airing this Sunday evening. They hand out awards to people who have done theater this year: a quaint little tradition brought forth in the 1600s that we are so honored to continue today. Nominees have been announced, or so wikipedia says, … Continue reading Two Olives Predict the Winners of the 71st Tony Awards
Ever heard of Bernadette Peters? Me too. As we know, she’s got indescribable talent and skill. But do we all know she’s immortal? Are we all on the same page there? And please, I know what you’re thinking: just because she’s more iconic than me doesn’t mean she’s immortal. Actually, yes the fuck it does. … Continue reading Bernadette Peters is Immortal and I’ll Prove It
It's International Women's Day here at the Niche, and also everywhere else around the entire world. This may come as a surprise, but women are all-around nicher than you've been led to believe. Society is scamming you out of understanding that women do things like guard lighthouses, or lead revolts against the Han dynasty in … Continue reading Women You Didn’t Know Were Niche