The Olives Rank Soup: Abridged Edition

About eighteen months ago, my dear friend and collaborator Olive mentioned a want of soup in the middle of the night. We then had a riveting conversation about the virtues of the world’s soups and decided: Hey! Why not rank them all for The Niche, where we can make our voices heard re:soup? But the controversy was too great, and the google doc too universally illegible, and so it was swept aside.

Though the Soup Conversation was ahead of its time, its document of origin was recently unearthed. We were forced to ask ourselves: do we risk being misunderstood by the populace in order to spread the good word of soup, or do we guard our opinions like a rare pearl? Do we incite soup controversy for the betterment of the community’s debate on soups, or do we leave the dust to settle into the fractures in the pavement of the soup road to one day be paved over by salad connoisseurs? With the Soup Renaissance upon us, Olive and I have decided to leak it.

“‘Brave’ –Sara Bareilles” -Olive Ambientwitch

SO whatt are the fuckin soups RAMEN NOODLE

So like I think just on the basis of it starting this conversation cream of broccoli has to be up there (also sick broc reference).

Uhhh fucking matzo ball.

There is also Matzo ball soup and ramen noodles.

Ramen noodle.. Oh of course. sDFSGSKFNKNLG have you had like carrot or squash soup.also good.

Butternut squash soup is very good. Like butternut squash carrot and curry soup. Thats what I live for. Its a fall soup (Gayle voice)


Google Translate search inquiring after French beans

Uhhhh bean soup.. Lentil soup.

Bean soup true. Oh whats the lentil soup i like theres something else in there. Whatever fuckn lentil

Me just looking up “soup”

uhhh miso soup/ split pea soup… are you a fan

I’m mixed feelings but it’s often good. My love for that soup is conditional

ok it can be toward the botam.



“Botam” bye

Chicken and rice soup thank you.

this list is so strange..

I know it literally is.

“She-crab soup” does that mean anything to you

No is it like women crabs only?

youa;sjkljdskjg;fkljdskldalkshdsfkgh I hav eno fucking idea.

I dont crabs.

M e either.

Good ok I thin this article is donel yeah

Glad we’re on the same page I agree let’s just post this full text

South Carolina She-Crab Soup

128 made it  |  44 reviews


Recipe by:SOWEN

“This soup is a staple for all of us living on the South Carolina coast. Here is my take on the soup that I think is outstanding! Enjoy!”

This document has been abridged for purposes of legibility. If I didn’t insert line breaks it would quite literally be a wall of text. Thanks

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