Okay, so to dispel any misgivings brought on by that headline, I am not pregnant, nor do I have active plans to have a kid any time soon. Like, probably not for another ten years or so. But I am the kind of person who needs to over-prepare for everything. I show up at the … Continue reading Twelve Horrifically Pretentious Baby Names I Am Considering and My Rationale for Each One
No, you don't remember when I did that? Well, here is A STUDY IN GILMORE, all 116 pages of it. This came about several months ago when I realized that Paris and Rory, much like Sherlock and Watson, are a prime example of what we at the Niche like to call The Dynamic. This is … Continue reading Remember When I Rewrote the Pilot of Sherlock So It Was About Paris Geller and Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls Being Lesbian Detectives?
I've been devoting a good amount of headspace recently to mid-20th century beloved gay icon William Shatner, most notable for his kind, liquid eyes and for recording the audiobook version of his book Spirit of the Horse: A Celebration in Fact and Fable in 2016. Shatner is compelling enough to think on just as an abstract concept--obviously. … Continue reading Set-Ups to 32 Jokes About William Shatner
It's been a year since Yuri!!! on Ice turned every lesbian weeb into a figure skating fan. That means the posts that currently cross my Tumblr dashboard can be divided into three major categories and the intersections thereof: shitposts from Nichers, gay stuff, and the first Olympic sport in which my athletically disinclined soul has … Continue reading Sufjan Stevens’ New Song About Tonya Harding That I Am Certain I Dreamt Up Even Though Other People Are Acting As If It Is Real
It's that time again! Or at least it is for me — your timezone is your business. Anyway, here's what I'm reading at whatever time this is.
From açaí to charcoal, quinoa to kale, we've all watched innumerable superfoods come and go. With the new year fast approaching, it's time to peer into the crystal ball, consult the cards, and pull something out of our collective ass to meet our court-ordered listicle quota. And so, we bring you the next five superfoods of … Continue reading Predicting the Superfood Trends of 2018
Like any self-respecting 21st century American woman, my life’s most formative years were spent marathoning What Not to Wear on weekend mornings. For so long, I dreamed Stacy London would show up at my door and offer me $5,000 to spend a week with her in New York. As WNtW faded from my worldview, so … Continue reading Where Are They Now: Turn-of-the-Century Cable Network Queens Edition
Let me start off by saying that I don't care about Gossip Girl - at all, even a little bit - because that would be stupid, and I'm not stupid. I may have read a few of the books, but only under the guise of mocking them; I may have watched one or two episodes, … Continue reading Dan Humphrey Was Trans and I’ll Prove It
Can someone please just fucking explain to me what I need to do to become Master of Crows? Everywhere I look! Little girls making friends with crows! Is it just that I’m too old? Too gender ambiguous? I want to befriend a whole murder of crows and I want them to bring me the trinkets … Continue reading What Must I do to Become Master of Crows?
Twin Peaks and Hamlet are two of my favorite stories. They have a lot in common: both are murder mysteries with far too many characters and subplots; both deal with themes of corruption, mortality, domestic violence, and the terrifying unknowability of nature and of the life to come; both prominently feature the troublingly fetishized body of … Continue reading Twin Peaks Characters as the Cast of Hamlet: A Listicle
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