Let’s Ask Congress to Replace All the Republican Supreme Court Justices With the Little Cartoon Animals From Night in the Woods

Dear [Your Representative's Name Here], My name is [Your Name], and I am a constituent of your district, [Congressional District]. I am writing to express my concerns about the future of the Supreme Court of the United States. Earlier this year, the Court issued a number of distressing opinions. They ruled to uphold a Republican redistricting … Continue reading Let’s Ask Congress to Replace All the Republican Supreme Court Justices With the Little Cartoon Animals From Night in the Woods

All Television Roommates Are Gay and Here’s A List of the Gayest

Longtime Muppeteer Eric Jacobson, who has played Bert since 1997, has gone on record as saying he believes The Odd Couple was the inspiration for Bert and Ernie. He used this as a reason to dispute their implied queerness, saying, "If you know the genesis of the characters, it’s an absurd idea." You know what’s … Continue reading All Television Roommates Are Gay and Here’s A List of the Gayest

Three of Them: A Short Gay Socialite Theater Piece concerning Remy, Despereaux, and Stuart Little

A note: the Stuart Little depicted in this work of fiction is derived from E.B White's 1945 novel of the same name, and, in this short work of fiction, is depicted as an old man. Remy and Despereaux are approximately the same age, working from the assumption that since Tale of Despereaux was published in … Continue reading Three of Them: A Short Gay Socialite Theater Piece concerning Remy, Despereaux, and Stuart Little

Lyrical Changes I Would Make to Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 to Make the Fact That Pierre Is in Love With Andrey More Explicit

As we all know, Pierre Bezukhov, the character from Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, is gay. Great Comet, Dave Malloy's musical adaptation of part of the novel, hints at this fact, but not, in my opinion, quite enough. Here are the slight lyrical changes and production choices that I always make in my head when … Continue reading Lyrical Changes I Would Make to Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 to Make the Fact That Pierre Is in Love With Andrey More Explicit

Who is Whom in the Phantom Thread AU of Dwight and Angela From The Office?: A Statistical Analysis

By way of introduction: there's been a lot of talk these days on filme tumblerre about the Repressed Cinematic Universe (RCU) and the merits of emotional/sexual repression as an artistic statement. I've also recently been re-watching NBC's The Office for the third time with my girlfriend. Earlier today, these two facts led me to ask the … Continue reading Who is Whom in the Phantom Thread AU of Dwight and Angela From The Office?: A Statistical Analysis

A Niche Interview With Stuart Little: 5 Facts You Didn’t Know From His Instagram

We all know the story: from the shy little mouse adopted into a home with two loving dads, to the Instagram sensation he is today. Stuart Wilson-House Little has been called a tastemaker, a taste-breaker, and a cultural icon. And he turned down an interview with an unnamed fashion icon (who either is or is … Continue reading A Niche Interview With Stuart Little: 5 Facts You Didn’t Know From His Instagram

An Alphabetically Ordered List of Every Fictional Character That Comes Up When You Google “little lion man livejournal fanmix 2010”

Once upon a time, in the year 2010 -- nearly a decade ago, fuck me -- there was a land called Livejournal. And the residents of that land loved nothing more than to collect angsty songs by white men and collate them into angsty playlists about white men. Entire communities sustained themselves on this practice, even though … Continue reading An Alphabetically Ordered List of Every Fictional Character That Comes Up When You Google “little lion man livejournal fanmix 2010”

“Sleep Well Beast” by The National, But With Derogatory Epithets Other Than “Beast”

Sleep Well Asshole Sleep Well Bastard Sleep Well Bonehead Sleep Well Bootlicker Sleep Well Bumpkin Sleep Well Butthead Sleep Well Buttlicker Sleep Well Chav Sleep Well Chump Sleep Well Clown Sleep Well Cockmaster Sleep Well Cow Sleep Well Creep Sleep Well Cretin Sleep Well Dick Sleep Well Dickbag Sleep Well Dickface Sleep Well Dickhead Sleep … Continue reading “Sleep Well Beast” by The National, But With Derogatory Epithets Other Than “Beast”