Niche Recipe: Broccoli à la Vapeur

Of all life’s myriad irritants, few have the power to vex, to stymie, to dampen the passions of the soul like a monotonous diet. When rice and turkey burgers no longer satisfy, when Vienna Fingers become passé, one must take up arms against routine and shake new fruits from the tree of life. “But how must I proceed?” you might ask, “How does one sate one’s palate’s unending demands?” Read on, dear friend, for gustatory epiphany awaits you.

Broccoli à la Vapeur



-sea salt, to taste


First, you will require steam. The Niche staff recommend heating a pot of water on your stovetop, but feel free to improvise within your abilities. A hair dryer will provide heat in a pinch, and a nice sauvignon blanc (nothing too dry!) may be substituted for the water. Share your successes in the comments!

Once your steam announces itself, position the broccoli above it. Typically, this is done with a steamer basket. If you are not in possession of a steamer basket, however, simply perch the florets atop your Tony Award. The very essence of simplicity.

After 4 to 5 breathless minutes, remove the broccoli from heat and place in a bowl. Sprinkle liberally with salt, should your heart desire it, and settle in with an improving book. You’ve earned this.


Thus, a culinary life is reinvigorated. This recipe is versatile and can be prepared on a Sunday night, then repeated for the next several days. Bon appétit, camarade!

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