Two Monks Invent Robert Pope Leonard

PART I

PART II

MONK #1: hey does the pope wear a long red dress for praying or for hiding that he’s getting gay blowjobs?
MONK #2: blowjobs
MONK #1: right and does he pray at all or–
MONK #2: mainly hide his gay actor identity from the staff at the vatican and fall in love? haha yeah
MONK #1: okay
so he’s not very religious?
MONK #2: oh like,
he’s kind of an atheist but into his jewish identity
like reform jewish, that whole vibe
MONK #1: hahha this is so embarrassing
MONK #2: what?
MONK #1: i like totally thought he was catholic
just like a totally uncalled for assumption on my part
MONK #2: hahaha yeah ok i can totally see why you’d think that
but he’s jewish for sure

PART III

MONK #2: so how’s the gay pope thing going
MONK #1: too many people get it
like 10 people. sometimes 12 even.
MONK #2: oh yikes
things are only good when they’re understood by 5 people
MONK #1: …not even 6?
MONK #2: hahah you’re so cute
no that would be terrible, just only ever 5
MONK #1: phew that’s good to know
so stuff about cherry coke zero and kangaroos? is there stuff like that in being the pope?
MONK #2: hahah no omg not at all
that’s a common misconception tho, about pope stuff
MONK #1: wow
good thing you’re here
MONK #2: yeah no prob, being pope is just about normal things like being tired and loving a man named steven
oh and not laughing at stuff
never doing that
only sometimes at lines from young frankenstein
MONK #1: right like stuff for 5 people
MONK #2: yeah it’s all about stuff for 5 people