Hey, Nichers! Can you believe we're more than halfway through the year? Neither can I! Here's how I'm coping with summertime malaise, and you can, too! Joining A Yoga Studio Like Some Rich-Ass Soccer Mom So I have this thing where I, like, never exercise. Like, never, ever, ever. I was momentarily kind of a … Continue reading Nine Healthy Coping Mechanisms to Get You Through This Hell Month
Full disclosure: I only just finished the first season, so I'm just ranking the main characters at that point in the series. It's entirely possible that I'm missing later context which would better inform my understanding of these characters' potential predilection for pegging. BETTY DRAPER: DEFINITELY NOT INTO IT "So, Betty," says a heavily pregnant … Continue reading Which Mad Men Characters Would Be Into Pegging? Spoiler Alert: Probably Not Pete
It's been fifteen years since the Emmy Award-winning series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy revolutionized reality television. And it's been three months since we here at Netflix re-revolutionized reality television by rebooting Queer Eye and bringing you a bunch of thinkpieces about the semiotic ramifications of Antoni's bulge. Today, Netflix is pleased to introduce a new spin-off series: Singer-Songwriter Eye for … Continue reading Singer-Songwriter Eye for the Sad Girl: A Netflix Original
Wouldn't It Be Bad Wouldn't It Be Big Wouldn't It Be Brave Wouldn't It Be Chill Wouldn't It Be Choice Wouldn't It Be Clutch Wouldn't It Be Cool Wouldn't It Be Dark Wouldn't It Be Drab Wouldn't It Be Dope Wouldn't It Be Droll Wouldn't It Be Dumb Wouldn't It Be Fresh Wouldn't It Be … Continue reading “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by The Beach Boys, but With Single-Syllable Adjectives Other Than “Nice”
Because this is a serious website, and because I am a serious music journalist, here is an annotated list of the Springsteen cuts that most make me want to ****** ***** * ***'* ***** *** ** *** **** and **** *** ** *** *** ** *** ***** ****** ****** ****. Props to coolschmool for that … Continue reading The Top Ten Horniest Bruce Springsteen Songs
MARK ZUCKERBERG: Chairman Walden, Ranking Member Pallone, and Members of the Committee. We face a number of important issues around privacy, safety, and democracy, and you will rightfully have some hard questions for me to answer. I realize the issues we’re talking about today aren’t just issues for Facebook and our community — they’re challenges for … Continue reading Mark Zuckerberg Testifies Before Congress: A Niche Transcript
So I think it may help us some to start off by defining what, precisely, constitutes a Depression Meal. To that end, the Depression Meal Tumblr offers us some suggestions: Half a granola bar your friend forced you to eat and some salt Nachos with kraft dinner on them A waffle that had been sitting … Continue reading Step Up Your Depression Meal Game with Marcella Hazan Tomato Sauce
First off: if you haven't watched the video already, I'll ask you to join the 5.12 million who have done so before you read any further. https://twitter.com/tourdetruce/status/923543590650990594 So I saw Lorde last night, playing a sold-out show for 20,000 people. I had nosebleeds -- or, rather, one singular nosebleed, adjacent to a very sweet, soft-spoken … Continue reading Ode to Emmy Hartman, The Girl Who Filmed Her Own Emotional Breakdown Over A Traffic Ticket
If you've been around The Niche for any amount of time, then you're at least peripherally aware of The Dynamic. But you probably have questions. What is an Absolute Nightmare? What is a Sweaterboy? How do you know which one you are? How does one distinguish The Dynamic from other, lesser dynamics? All of these … Continue reading What is “The Dynamic,” Anyway?
Like, The Notebook who? Casablanca who? Titanic who? Love Actually who? Pride & Prejudice who? Sleepless in Seattle who? Romeo and Juliet who? You've Got Mail who? Before Sunrise who? Jerry Maguire who? Lost in Translation who? When Harry Met Sally who? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind who? Never Let Me Go who? Moonlight wh- okay, no, too far.
The Niche 