Vampire Weekend Lyrics that are Actually About 1890s Gay English Scholars Who Long for Intimate Comradeship

I’ve seen those English dramas too
They’re cruel
So if there’s any other way
To spell the word
It’s fine with me, with me

Cruel professor
Studying romances
How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?

You’re out on the stone and grass
And I’m sleeping on the balcony
After class

Is your bed made?
Is your sweater on?

A thousand years in one piece of silver
She took it from his lilywhite hand

Oh your collegiate grief has left you dowdy in sweatshirts
Absolute horror!

Evil feasts on human lives
The Holy Roman Empire roots for you

Forget the protocol
I’ll take your hand
Right in mine

No one cares when you are wrong
But I’ve been at this far too long
To act like that when we should be
In perfect harmony

The pin-striped men of morning
Are coming for to dance

You criticize the practice
By murdering their plants
Ignoring all the history
Denying them romance

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