Three years ago, our very own Thea received a phone call from a friend. She accepted the call. She lifted the phone to her ear. Her friend said, "Piglet from Winnie the Pooh was androgynous," and then immediately hung up. That was it. That was the entire call. It was a brief message, but a potent … Continue reading If Piglet Was Your Favourite Winnie the Pooh Character, Let’s Be Honest, You’re Gay
Author: Peyton
How to Use Game Theory to Figure Out if Your Crush Likes You Back
So when I was a dumb kid, and then when I was a dumb teenager, and then when I was a dumb young adult, I would spend a lot of time on DOES MY CRUSH LIKE ME BACK? quizzes. In the vast, swirling chaos of love and emotion, these quizzes seemed like a rare bastion of … Continue reading How to Use Game Theory to Figure Out if Your Crush Likes You Back
Paddington 2 vs. Every 2017 Oscar Nominee: A Deathmatch
As of this writing, Paddington 2 is the best-reviewed movie in the history of Rotten Tomatoes, with 174 positive reviews and zero negatives. Rebel Without A Cause boasts a 96% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes; Casablanca has a 97%, Lawrence of Arabia has 98%, and The Godfather clocks in at 99%. But Paddington 2, with its 100% unanimous approval, mops the floor with all of them. … Continue reading Paddington 2 vs. Every 2017 Oscar Nominee: A Deathmatch
I Thought I Was Hearing Him Wrong But It Turns Out MC Ride Really is Saying “I Stay Niche” in That One Death Grips Song
You guys know that one Death Grips song, I've Seen Footage? The banger to end all bangers? You know how in the intro it really sounds like MC Ride is saying "I stay niche," but it's kind of difficult to make it out, and you're like, "Okay, he can't actually be saying 'I stay niche,' there's no … Continue reading I Thought I Was Hearing Him Wrong But It Turns Out MC Ride Really is Saying “I Stay Niche” in That One Death Grips Song
The Niche’s Top 25 Albums of 2017, and Also the Lines from Richard Siken’s “Crush” That Best Describe Them
25. Wolf Parade - Cry Cry Cry Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake and dress them in warm clothes again. -- Richard Siken, Scheherazade 24. Kelela - Take Me Apart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePi5BLJogyA I wanted to take him home and rough him up and get my hands inside him, … Continue reading The Niche’s Top 25 Albums of 2017, and Also the Lines from Richard Siken’s “Crush” That Best Describe Them
The Niche’s Top 25 Songs of 2017
25. Penny For Your Thoughts > Einar Stray Orchestra Dear Bigotry was one of my favourite releases of the year, a lush collection of paranoid pop backed by intricate orchestral arrangements. I waffled on which track to include on this list - the grim "Glossolalia" is a stand-out, as is the Arcade Fire-y choral splendour of … Continue reading The Niche’s Top 25 Songs of 2017
In Honour of the New Star Wars Movie, Watch This Trilogy of Luke Skywalker Fan Videos Set to Lana Del Rey Songs
Once a year at Christmastime, we gather together to celebrate our Lord and saviour: Luke Skywalker. Yes, Star Wars Season is a time of merriment, a time of gratitude and peace. What better way to celebrate than to indulge in a trilogy of Lana Del Rey music videos which focus on Luke Skywalker's emotional journey? No better … Continue reading In Honour of the New Star Wars Movie, Watch This Trilogy of Luke Skywalker Fan Videos Set to Lana Del Rey Songs
Nation’s Wig Retailers Devastated After Surprise Release of New Car Seat Headrest Single
Local business-owner Rhonda Lamprey has seen some strange things in her 41 years as the owner of Butterfly Salon & Beauty Supply, a San Bernardino-based purveyor of wigs and hair-care products. She has seen fads come and go; she has seen bouffants, beehives, and box braids. But never has she seen anything so strange as … Continue reading Nation’s Wig Retailers Devastated After Surprise Release of New Car Seat Headrest Single
Twelve Horrifically Pretentious Baby Names I Am Considering and My Rationale for Each One
Okay, so to dispel any misgivings brought on by that headline, I am not pregnant, nor do I have active plans to have a kid any time soon. Like, probably not for another ten years or so. But I am the kind of person who needs to over-prepare for everything. I show up at the … Continue reading Twelve Horrifically Pretentious Baby Names I Am Considering and My Rationale for Each One
Remember When I Rewrote the Pilot of Sherlock So It Was About Paris Geller and Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls Being Lesbian Detectives?
No, you don't remember when I did that? Well, here is A STUDY IN GILMORE, all 116 pages of it. This came about several months ago when I realized that Paris and Rory, much like Sherlock and Watson, are a prime example of what we at the Niche like to call The Dynamic. This is … Continue reading Remember When I Rewrote the Pilot of Sherlock So It Was About Paris Geller and Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls Being Lesbian Detectives?