“Many things in the world have not been named,” writes Susan Sontag, in the opening of her Notes on ‘Camp,’ “and many things, even if they have been named, have never been described.” It is for this very reason that I hesitate to write these notes. In recent years, it seems, to describe a path … Continue reading Notes on “Feral”
I walk into a bookstore downtown at 4:30 in the afternoon. I graduated from university four years ago, but I still have a stressed-out aura about me. PENN BADGLEY'S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: Well, hello there. Who are you? Based on your vibe, a student. A saucy little co-ed. Nice. I am wearing the sweatshirt that was … Continue reading Penn Badgley From “You” Follows Me Around For A Day
@Aeneas - 3:11 PM Some personal news: I'll be heading off to Italy next week at the behest of Apollo! Super nervous, and totally gonna miss everyone here in Carthage, but so excited about this next chapter. Shoot me a text & let's grab brunch before I go. @QueenDido - 3:16 PM lmao @Aeneas - … Continue reading The Aeneid, As Told in Subtweets
The first red flag was printed on the label, three words, tucked small in the bottom right: frozen dairy dessert. I was standing in the ice cream aisle at Loblaw's, and I saw those three words, and I thought, "Huh, that must mean Halo Top doesn't meet the Canadian Food Inspection Agency's legal definition of 'ice … Continue reading Halo Top is a Scam
Chapter 1 It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the … Continue reading The Full Text of Pride & Prejudice But I Replaced Every Instance of “Darcy” With “Gritty”
Rainn Wilson was born to play Prior Walter.
Friends, homos, countrymen, it is my pleasure to announce that, as of 5:41 PM Eastern Standard Time, The Niche has garnered one million hits. What began as a website for five people has blossomed into something much grander. Friendships have been forged. Graduate degrees have been completed. Romances have bloomed. Hearts have been broken. Pants … Continue reading The Niche: A Website for A Million People
In 1988 after spending two years at El Paso High School, he enrolled in Woodberry Forest School, an all-male boarding school in Madison County, Virginia. When sixteen-year-old Beto O'Rourke arrives at the elite Woodberry Forest School for Boys, he's a complete outsider. Transplanted from El Paso, the social and academic pressure of New England is alien to him. … Continue reading Some Suggestions for Beto O’Rourke Fanfiction, Based on His Truly Ridiculous Wikipedia Page
Sufjan Stevens is so many people. Compiling this list, and hopping from holiday jams to S&M-club electronica to acoustic musings on death, was a complete and utter joy. Let's get into it! Pace yourself! Please note: This list includes every officially released song which credits Sufjan Stevens as a primary artist. It excludes live recordings, remixes, … Continue reading All 293 Sufjan Stevens Songs, Ranked
Rough time to be alive, huh? I'm writing this on October 7, 2018; Brett Kavanaugh was sworn in yesterday, Brazil looks to be electing a fascist today, and earlier this afternoon, I was lying in bed, ill, and I heard a sick screech of metal on metal, and I stumbled woozily over to my window … Continue reading How to Do a Three-Step Anxiety Inventory and Stop Feeling Like Your Brain is On Fire
The Niche 