The Aeneid, As Told in Subtweets

@Aeneas – 3:11 PM

Some personal news: I’ll be heading off to Italy next week at the behest of Apollo! Super nervous, and totally gonna miss everyone here in Carthage, but so excited about this next chapter. Shoot me a text & let’s grab brunch before I go.

@QueenDido – 3:16 PM

lmao

@Aeneas – 3:17 PM

Thanks for the well wishes, everyone! Means the world. I know you’re all going to miss me, and I’m going to miss you too. 😦 Def gonna be hard to leave Carthage, but Italy’s the opportunity of a lifetime, and I’m so grateful to have this chance. #blessed

@QueenDido – 3:20 PM

@QueenDido – 3:22 PM

Now listening to: A Burning Hill by Mitski on Spotify

@Aeneas – 3:23 PM

Been getting a few texts about this so just wanted to clear up publicly: yes, Dido and I have decided to part ways. Long distance just wasn’t going to work for us. I’ll always have love for her & wish her the best.

@QueenDido – 3:24 PM

love too get broken up with via DM lmfao going ✈️ to bawl my eyes out in the shower brb

@QueenDido – 3:30 PM

just like. are you fucking kidding me. are you actually fucking kidding me.

@Aeneas – 3:31 PM

Downloading some shows to watch on the voyage over to Italy. Anyone know if The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is any good? I’ve mostly heard good things, but Emily Nussbaum’s take in the New Yorker gave me second thoughts…

@QueenDido – 3:32 PM

oh so “we need to talk about this later” because you’re so busy getting ready for your trip but you have plenty of time to tweet pretentious ass new yorker articles! go fuck yourself

@QueenDido – 3:35 PM

ugh sorry guys. deleted all those tweets. obv i’m going through some shit but some stuff rly isn’t for the internet and i just want privacy rn. gonna charge up my vibe and pour some wine and enjoy the new netflix movie where u see chris pines dick lmao later ✌️

@Aeneas – 3:38 PM

Been a tough afternoon. I know some feelings are hurt, but what’s done is done. I’m going to Italy. I have to. This is the gods’ plan for me. No point complaining now. Deep breaths, everyone.

@Aeneas – 3:39 PM

Now listening to: Perfect Places by Lorde on Spotify

@QueenDido – 3:39 PM

ok sorry i know i said i was logging off but you do not get to listen to lorde about this. you do not have the right.

@QueenDido – 3:42 PM

also shut the fuck up about “gods’ plan” sorry who picked your busted ass up off the beach after your ship fell apart mid-voyage? the gods? nope! just me! who made you king, saved all your friends, and patched up the rest of your shitty fleet? the gods? nope!!!! me again!!!!!!!!!!

@Aeneas – 3:48 PM

Anyone have good wine recs in southeast Rome? Know it’s getting super gentrified so more looking for hole in the wall/mom and pop vineyards.

@QueenDido – 3:50 PM

whatever i don’t even care anymore have a blast in italy you fucking dick i hope some courtesan serves you shitty boxed wine & you choke on it

@QueenDido – 3:52 PM

Now listening to: Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac on Spotify

@QueenDido – 3:54 PM

Now listening to: Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac on Spotify

@QueenDido – 3:55 PM

hey @Aeneas when cold death has separated soul from body my shade will come to you from far with sooty brands & haunt you wicked one! you will be punished! the story of it WILL come to me in the underworld and i WILL hear it! 👋

@QueenDido – 3:58 PM

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck i’m gonna have a panic attack aren’t i

@AnnaOfCarthage – 5:01 PM

w/ sis in the ER. she had a panic attack & passed out earlier but came to, docs gave her ativan, water, etc. just gonna do an ECG to make sure everything’s ok then heading home. thanks for the kind words & texts, i know she appreciates em

@AnnaOfCarthage – 5:05 PM

if anyone wants to venmo me like $10 for some in n out we can stop on the way home, i’m sure it’d really lift her spirits, thanks

@AnnaOfCarthage – 5:05 PM

hey also, just to everyone, this whole thing is a private matter, i love my sister and i’m still friends with a. don’t ask me to pick sides. thx.

@QueenDido – 6:11 PM

lmao the FUCKING gall