Inspired by this post. 1. What's your favourite flavour of ice cream? a) My own tears. b) Fake asthma medication. c) Cocaine. 2. Would you be comfortable coming out to your mother? a) Last year, on my birthday, she got me three gifts: a pack of rainbow-colored gel pens, a cassette of Madonna's greatest hits, and … Continue reading Niche Quiz: Which Emotionally Unstable Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with a Crush on Your Best Friend, Finn Wolfhard, Are You?
Hey, The Niche! I've got a question for your career advice columnist, and I'm hoping you can help me! See, I'm a mediocre writer with no academic qualifications or professional experience beyond a degree in gender studies -- you may already see the problem here -- and gosh, I'm just trying to make a living … Continue reading Meghan Murphy, the Toronto Public Library, and the Easiest Grift in the Universe
The subterranean dungeon of Taylor Swift's Rhode Island mansion is painted a folksy, endearing robin's-egg blue, a delicate contrast to the exposed copper piping which runs the length of the cavernous room, and to which I am presently shackled. As forced captivities go, this has been an eminently pleasant one. And it was my fault, … Continue reading An Exclusive Interview with Taylor Swift While Shackled to A Copper Pipe In Her Basement
Yesterday, in what still feels like a targeted effort by scientists in a government laboratory to make me, personally, weep myself into blindness, Warner Brothers released the second trailer for The Goldfinch. If you're not familiar, I'll catch you up in just a second -- but have a look, first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAfCD9MVq_c Yes, as if it wasn't enough … Continue reading What Does “Queerbait” Even Mean Anymore?
MAY 19, 1999. The curtain rises on a bar that could charitably be described as "humble." Paint peels along the walls. The counter-tops are sticky with beers of yesteryear. Stuffing leaks from six bar-stools, and six occupants in their early thirties slouch on them: MIKE, DUSTIN, LUCAS, MAX, WILL, and ELEVEN, called EL. They are … Continue reading The Stranger Things Kids Turn 30 and Go See “The Phantom Menace” on Opening Night: A One-Act Play
It's often said that the first Pride was a riot. And that's true, insofar as modern Pride commemorates the uprising at Stonewall and the throwing, en masse, of bricks at cops. But perhaps more importantly, the first Pride was a fun, casual night on the town that went up in flames because straight people didn't … Continue reading The Top Ten Worst Things About the Worst Pride Month Ever
As you may have gleaned from the title of this article, I am not a classicist. One time, in college, I signed up for an Intro to Latin class, but I dropped out three weeks into the course after pulling an all nighter in Robarts making vocab flash cards right before our first quiz and … Continue reading Virgil Had A Pussy and I’ll Prove It
Illustration by Fiona Ostby. This debate contains spoilers for “Cat Person,” as well as discussion of rape and sexual abuse, which may be triggering to some readers. The interview has been edited and condensed for clarity, and to get rid of all our little verbal tics, because we uh, um, like, I think, used a … Continue reading Did “Cat Person” Deserve the Hype?
Best friend (26M) is mad at me (26M) because I steal his picture and make him to commit murder. How do I fix? (X-posted to r/legaladvice) By u/Cheburashka42069 Hello reddit. I write this on throw away account so police cannot trace back to me. When I was very little, like fifteen, I have best friend, … Continue reading Boris Pavlikovsky Asks for Love Advice on r/relationships
This post exists for one reason and one reason only: to spread awareness of the fact that Phoebe Bridgers, highly talented musician and wielder of a sword, once had a pixie cut. I know what you're thinking: surely there is no way that a pixie cut could possibly hold a candle to Phoebe's current style, … Continue reading Public Service Announcement: Phoebe Bridgers Used to Have a Pixie Cut