My Favorite Deleted Comments by Straight People from the Article Ranking American Girl Dolls in Order of Gayness

Boy, this one really brought out the straights. Here, in no particular order, are some of my favourites from the comments that we summarily deleted.

Note: These are excerpts, cut for brevity; one commenter’s screed ran to six whole paragraphs.

Also, this like, actually does get homophobic, so proceed with caution.

1.

“I can agree that Kit has some straight butch traits. But Kit has been the only American Girl that has said, even when Ruthie was against it, ‘Unlike Ruthie, I like boys. I like when boys around. [sic] They are always up to something’.”

2.

“I’m a lot like Felicity. I was a tomboy, headstrong, I’m still into typically ‘masculine’ things, and guess what? I am 100% STRAIGHT.”

3.

“You put Kaya at the top of this list when Kaya has been the only American girl to think ‘Two Hawks is going to grow up strong and handsome.'”

4.

“I never saw any of these stories as gay. I still just see strong young girls. Must every strong young girl be placed into the queer box?”

5.

“Kit went way out of her way to impress Stirling by showing him her baseball collection and proving she wasn’t flouncy. Kit seems more annoyed by women than males.”

6.

“I’ve had every single one of these dolls as a young boy and now I can’t stop inhaling penis. It’s at the point where I have to be fed semen through an IV tube. Signed, Fruitcake Fudgepacker.”

7.

“Can a girl have mostly guy friends, play rugby, create art, be out spoken [sic], challenge gender norms, and have a few very tight girl friends [sic] without being queer?”

Unfortunately for these commentators, the plain fact remains that every single American Girl doll ever produced is gay, and there is nothing you can do about it.

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Tea!

5 thoughts on “My Favorite Deleted Comments by Straight People from the Article Ranking American Girl Dolls in Order of Gayness

  1. lils says:

    MUST every strong young girl be placed into the queer box tho? Don’t we ALL get sick of reading books and watching movies and seeing strong young LGBT girls everywhere, like for example:

    Like

  2. lils says:

    Fucking SICK of seeing strong young girls spending all their time in boxes, crossfit is played out, overrated, overpriced.

    Like

  3. Soph says:

    the “queer box” the girls are placed in is the cardboard box the dolls arrive in and that’s the end of it
    they’re all gay

    Like

  4. kinnery says:

    wow i don’t know how i stumbled across this but i’m so pleased

    they were all so incredibly gay

    i just cleaned out my basement, might have to have a nice gay tea party with felicity and her gal pal

    Like

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