Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse is an acclaimed author and humorist of the 20th century and one of the finest namers who have ever existed. People, places, pets. You name it and he could name it. If he were alive today, I would adopt many pets so he could name them for me. But he is dead so we beat on, boats against the current, doing what we can with the names he left behind.

Rev. Rupert “Beefy” Bingham the Agouti Rat

Beefy listens to Lorde on vinyl.

Bertram Wilberforce “Bertie” Wooster the Rooster

Like his namesake, Bertie is a very flamboyant gay man who enjoys wearing bright colours in the metropolis. Unlike the beloved Wodehouse character, Wooster the Rooster has depression. He self-diagnosed it after consulting the internet.

Percival “Percy” Craye, Earl of Worplesdon the Domestic Shorthair

Percy Craye moved to Montana where, she thought, there was no chance anyone would comment on her striking resemblance to Charlie Chaplin. She was wrong.

Monsieur Anatole the Turtle

M. Anatole was found abandoned in a bucket of water in a library.

Madeleine Bassett the Alaskan Malamute

Madeleine hates walking behind tourists. They walk so slowly and they take up the whole sidewalk so she can’t cut around then. She hates it most when they stop to take selfies with their embarrassing selfie sticks. Madeleine is very lonely.

Bingo Little the Pit Bull Mix

She’s Bingo and she’s Little.

Boko Fittleworth the Lionhead Rabbit

Much like Bertie Wooster’s Boko, this strapping young man is “a cross between a comedy juggler and a parrot that has been dragged through a hedge backwards.”

Stinker Pinker

She’s been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate
A poet, a pawn and a king

Kipper Herring

He gets tired.

Joan Valentine

So she stole one lousy little report from work in exchange for a bit of quick cash, what’s the big deal? She needed the money and it was only test results from a failed experiment. Now she finds herself at the center of an international conspiracy that could spell the end of humanity as we know it.