Two Olives Predict the Winners of the 71st Tony Awards

If you haven’t heard, the popular awards the Tonys– that’s Theatre for Anthonys– are airing this Sunday evening. They hand out awards to people who have done theater this year: a quaint little tradition brought forth in the 1600s that we are so honored to continue today. Nominees have been announced, or so wikipedia says, … Continue reading Two Olives Predict the Winners of the 71st Tony Awards

Major Barbara but Lady Britomart is Replaced with Lucille Bluth

Reading George Bernard Shaw's Major Barbara taught me two things: poverty is a crime and Lucille Bluth is eternal. Picture, if you will, Lady Britomart saying "I mean, it's one banana, Stephen. What could it cost? Ten dollars?" Besides, neither Gob nor Buster is quite foundling enough for Lucille (though she won't say so). This is … Continue reading Major Barbara but Lady Britomart is Replaced with Lucille Bluth

Babysitters Club Members Ranked Based on How Formative they were to my Lesbian Identity

There's no question when it comes to the blatant lesbianism of every member of the Babysitters Club. There were like... men in there, sometimes, but I can't for the life of me remember any of their names or qualities, so were they really there? When I was 11 or whatever, this iconic gang of entrepeneurial lesbites changed … Continue reading Babysitters Club Members Ranked Based on How Formative they were to my Lesbian Identity

Dreamworks Madagascar is a Heart of Darkness Adaptation and I’ll Prove It

Admittedly, Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness is pretty depressing. But what if raconteur boat boy Marlow was replaced with an egomaniacal anthropomorphic zoo lion? And what if good old Kurtz had a dance party to I Like to Move It? Great news: Dreamworks answered these questions and more in 2005 with their iconic film Madagascar. Let's go over the basics, shall we? … Continue reading Dreamworks Madagascar is a Heart of Darkness Adaptation and I’ll Prove It