E•MO•TION by Carly Rae Jepsen is a Pop Opera About Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin and I’ll Prove It

Run Away With Me

You’re stuck in my head, stuck on my heart, stuck on my body, body
I wanna go, get out of here, I’m sick of the party, party
I’d run away
I’d run away with you

Now, if you’ll recall, an early and pivotal plot point in The Social Network is that Mark and Eduardo go to a party, which Mark is sick of, and they run away from the aforementioned party.

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Thanks, Carly Rae Obvious.


E•mo•tion

Be tormented by me babe
Wonder, wonder how I do
How’s the weather? Am I better?
Better now that there’s no you?

Much like The Social Network, “E•mo•tion: A Gay Pop Opera on Digital Themes” does not follow a linear timeline. Therefore, this song is about Mark being a dick to Eduardo at the deposition, covering his deep longing for Eduardo in a gossamer-thin veil of fake spite.

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I Really Like You

(YEAAAAAAH!) I really really really really really really like you
And I want you. Do you want me? Do you want me too?
I really really really really really really like you (Oh, oh, ohh!)
And I want you. Do you want me? Do you want me too? (Do you want me, too?)

This song is about how Eduardo really, really, really, really, really, really likes Mark.

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Gimmie Love

I toss and turn but still I can’t sleep right
I should’ve asked you to stay, begged you to stay
Why, when I get right next to you
I hear this heartbeat breaking through
I feel the earthquake in the room
And so I pray: fall into me

This is an elaborate one because Carly Slay Legendsen is a master of the mixed metaphor. This verse is about the night that Eduardo flies out to California – specifically San Francisco, one of the most earthquake-prone places on Earth – to visit Mark, and then he has a fight with Mark, so he flies back to New York City and sleeps fitfully until Brenda Song (Disney’s The Suite Life of Zack and Cody) shows up and lights his bed on fire, ensuring that Eduardo can’t sleep right.

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All That

You can always rely on me
To help you do what you want to do
I wanna be the best you’ve ever known
Just let me in your arms
Just let me in your arms

Show me if you want me
If I’m all that
I will be that
I will be your friend

This one is not subtle. I’m starting to wonder if Carly Rae Jepsen and Aaron Sorkin are secretly the same person. Has anyone ever seen them in the same room? Have they coordinated some kind of Steven Universe-y fusion deal where they run at each other real fast and collide and then become Aarly Rae Sorpsen?

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Boy Problems

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Making the Most of the Night

No hope, now you’re seeing things that you’d lost sight of
Taking off, got your hands in the air and you’re feeling alright
Gold vines, glistening on my skin for you

Baby I’m speeding and red lights I’ll run
What I got you need it, and I’ll run to your side

Eduardo sings this one while sitting on the plane back to San Francisco, just staring out the window of the plane as the whole breadth and glory of the heartland of the United States of America passes below the chassis of the plane, determinedly belting about how he’s going to bang Mark when he lands.

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Your Type

I used to be in love with you
You used to be the first thing on my mind
I know I’m just a friend to you
That I will never get to call you mine

But I still love you
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you
I didn’t mean to say what I said

This one’s like, post blow-up, when Eduardo is thinking about if only he hadn’t frozen the account, and if only he hadn’t set up that meeting with Sean Parker, if only, if only, if only…

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Let’s Get Lost

I was never one to want to
Put my trust in someone else completely
And I was always one to want to
Up and run when someone said they needed me

This song is, like, a direct call-out for Mark Zuckerberg. It’s his sad end-of-the-opera aria, after Wardo has smashed his computer to smithereens and Sean has been busted for doing coke. It’s a song of regret.

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LA Hallucinations

Haven’t seen the boy in ages
Used to stay up all night he and I
Filling up each of these pages
But the teeth come out when the camera flashes

We said we’d always be the same
But we lost each other in the game

Eduardo and Mark used to stay up all night filling out Facebook pages… they said they’d always be the same… but they lost each other… in the game…

The only thing is that it’s called “LA Hallucinations” as opposed to, like, “Palo Alto Hallucinations” or “Silicon Valley Hallucinations,” but LA is in California, so like, close enough.


Warm Blood

I’ve got a cavern of secrets
None of them are for you
Even if you wanted to keep them
Where would you find the room?

This song is just about how Mark is a sneaky little shit. He sings this over a montage of him e-mailing the Winklevii about how busy he is and how much he can’t work on their website.

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When I Needed You

Sometimes I wish that I could change
But not for me, for you
So we could be together, forever
But I know, I know that I won’t change for you
Cause where were you for me
When I needed someone?
When I needed someone?
When I needed you?
When I needed you?

This is basically Eduardo’s big, eleven o’clock fuck-you-I’m-over-it break-up song. It’s almost too on the nose. It hits a character development moment we don’t quite see Eduardo arrive at in The Social Network, which means Carloracle Rae Psychicson foresaw the real-life Eduardo Saverin renouncing his U.S. citizenship, taking Mark for a settlement worth undisclosed zillions, and fluttering off to go be rich on a beach in Singapore. Some people say he only did this to avoid paying the government $700 million in capital gains taxes, but we know the truth. Sis was ready to move on.

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I have no source on this gif but the deep yellow hue and jerky frame rate tell me it’s a relic from at least 2010, when The Social Network took Tumblr by storm and we were all “Jewnicorns this” and “Bambi that.”

3 thoughts on “E•MO•TION by Carly Rae Jepsen is a Pop Opera About Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin and I’ll Prove It

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