Five Topman Models Who Make Me Feel Inadequately Androgynous

1. the tattoos say “I’m a sensitive tough boy with a troubled past” but the eyebrows say “I know I’m pulling off this outfit that would make you look like a 13 year old girl at a fall out boy concert and I’m smug about it”

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2. the mohair sweater…..the feathered hair….the earrings?? how are you managing to look like a beautiful forest nymph and not a 1980s housewife dude

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3. this cis boy is serving river phoenix hair AND a pale pink hoodie?? also his jawline is a hate crime

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4. the hair….the neckline…the arms….how much testosterone do I have to inject into my body to look this frail and gentle

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5. I’m gonna fucking kill myself right here on this day

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