Babysitters Club Members Ranked Based on How Formative they were to my Lesbian Identity

There’s no question when it comes to the blatant lesbianism of every member of the Babysitters Club. There were like… men in there, sometimes, but I can’t for the life of me remember any of their names or qualities, so were they really there? When I was 11 or whatever, this iconic gang of entrepeneurial lesbites changed my entire life.

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7. Mallory Pike

I’m gonna be totally honest with you here, Mallory would probably be higher on the list if I had to deal with her triplet brothers less while reading about her. She was iconic, but I really couldn’t read about her that much without getting a headache from her entire family. Sorry Mal… it’s not your fault.

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6. Jessi Ramsey

She was nice. She was tall. Like, tall enough that people should’ve called her “Legs” as a cute nickname. Her parents were like “here take your brother we have to go” a lot, and she was cool about it. She was best friends with Mallory, and that was sweet.

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5. Stacey McGill

Okay, Stacey was awesome. She was like, diabetic, and even though I’m not diabetic she made it relatable. It was all some big secret. Kristy’s shithead brother was like “What’s wrong with you that you don’t eat twinkies” and Stacey was like “Fuck you?” so that was a big moment for me in terms of telling men to go to hell. Her name was also Anastasia, and that’s pretty.

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4. Dawn Schafer

Dawn was Californian, and she had a really cool last name. Once she went ghost hunting in her own ancient-ass Connecticut home, which was badass. She had good outfits on the cover of every book. I feel like I remember her smelling like coconut, but I don’t know if the book told me that or I just filled it in because I was 12 and lesbian.

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3. Claudia Kishi

For all the babysitters in the club, Claudia was by far the most iconic. She was an artiste, and though I was never an artiste myself, it made me love her a little bit extra. She was very chill and had snacks in her room. I think she always wore barrettes too.

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2.Mary Anne Spier

Mary Anne was the one I was in love with. Also like, maybe the most introverted one. She’s best friends with Kristy, which ups her (already high) lesboticism. Her favorite color scheme was navy blue and light yellow: dare I say futch icon? Her dad never let her do anything besides wash dishes and babysit until 7pm. Sweet, largely innocuous. Got The Chop during high school and changed everyone’s lives.

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1. Kristy Thomas

Do I even NEED to explain to you why Kristy Thomas is lesbianistically formative? Okay, well for starters she coached a softball team so jot that down. She just had that certain lesbian je ne sais quoi… that lesbian joie de vivre… she invented the club, and had awesome ideas, and was in charge of everything at all times. She’s the reason these 12 year olds were making bank and she was a lesbian.

 

3 thoughts on “Babysitters Club Members Ranked Based on How Formative they were to my Lesbian Identity

  1. Cass says:

    I was so obsessed with this series as a kid. (In hindsight they were probably a huge part in me being a lesbian)

    As an addition to this article I would like to add some other very gay things that I remembered over the years:

    Mary Anne early on had long hair because her dad was strict but then was allowed to get a hair cut and it was basically a lesbian hair cut it was so good.

    I think Dawn was a vegetarian and into the environment so basically your typical hippie lesbian.

    Like

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