All The Fellows On House Based On How Much They Are Lesbians

Taub: Taub is not a lesbian, and I hate him.

dr-eric-foreman-2457153_2038Foreman: Foreman is not a lesbian, but I like him.

nup-141494-0732Masters: Eh…not really.

905501_1324337177550_fullAdams: I don’t know dude, I wasn’t really paying attention to my screen by the time she appeared. I hope she’s a lesbian but I’m not, like, invested?

50ce18c363f5fbf65c851846b5f41532Thirteen: Takes her rightful place exactly halfway down this list. Oh, Thirteen. You were so formative even though your bisexuality seemed to consist of you dancing around naked making out with girls in between REAL relationships with guys.

83cf0cf1711b25d66a19fbc1b1447d13Chase: Really grew on me after he cut his hair to this lesbian style, but he still put me through all those times he was onscreen and saying things and doing things, which was boring and homophobic.

47c56d46063825563ce5d5df19d01259-64230Park: She was cute, ish. I guess she could be a lesbian.

house_kutner_6Kutner: YES. REAL LESBIANS BEGIN HERE. Look at his beautiful eyes and sweet lesbian mouth. I miss you Kutner and you deserved better but your actor wanted to campaign for Obama or something so here we are

c3aa9e47469054d3c555aa1e02d8335aCameron: Dr. Allison Cameron is gay. She just is. Compelling evidence includes, but is not limited to, a) compulsory heterosexuality is the only explanation I can think of for any reasonable girl to have a crush on House, and b) Vests. Luckily, in one of the happiest ever onscreen endings for a lesbian character, Cameron escaped Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in 2012 and has been living happily with her wife in an Oregon suburb for five years.

amber-amber-volakis-cutthroat-bitch-8442352-332-500Amber: She

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